When Maureen Paton’s husband moved into her four-bedroom home in Muswell Hill, north London, where she has lived for 26 years, she converted the loft to make room for his arrival.
This meant Norman Jopling, 82, a retired music writer and entrepreneur, could move in happily with his collections of books and CDs and his parents’ Art Deco bookcase. Jopling moved in around 18 months after the couple met, and they married in January 2024.
Jopling’s office is on the top floor in the converted loft, while Paton, 75, a journalist and author, works on the first floor with a large painting of her first husband, Liam, who died in 2006, above her computer. Her latest novel, The Gargoyles Mystery: C.S. Lewis Investigates, is out in April next year.
For many older couples in second marriages, moving in together brings unique personal and financial adjustments. Adult children and potential inheritances can add to the mix, along with existing properties and belongings accumulated over the years. For some, household bills and tasks can need ironing out, especially when people are used to doing things a certain way.
“I could never bear to leave my house with so many memories of Liam in it,” said Paton. “But that, and the portrait, didn’t faze Norman at all. He’s a completely down-to-earth person and not insecure in that way.
“Norman doesn’t mind Liam’s ‘presence’ in the house; it’s not a spectral one. He loves to go through Liam’s classical CD collection, and I’m pleased that they are not just sitting on the shelves.”
Indeed, music brought the couple together. After signing up for a Telegraph offer for Duke Ellington CDs in 2015, Jopling – divorced for several decades – decided to take advantage of an adjacent offer to join The Telegraph’s online dating service for people aged 50 or older.
“By our second date in Waterlow Park in Highgate, with its view out over the city, everything felt completely companionable,” said Paton. “I didn’t need to chatter or babble to cover the nerves. I realised I was completely relaxed with this man; how wonderful.”
Moving in has been equally as smooth for the pair.
Jopling owns a flat in Highgate, lived in by his 55-year-old daughter, and a two-bedroom terraced house in Edmonton, where he had previously lived and now rents out.
“I had this fairly small house in an unprepossessing area, and Maureen had this rather nice house in a very nice area, so obviously if anyone was going to move in with anyone, it was going to be me,” Jopling says with a smile.
Each retains ownership of their own properties and household bills are split equally, including council tax. “I email him our expenses from my computer downstairs to his computer upstairs,” Paton says. “If I buy anything to top up our weekly food shop, I leave the receipts on the stairs, and Norman collects them and divides them up too. He is very organised.”
‘It isn’t terribly romantic’
When it comes to buying a home together, Nina Harrison, from buying agency Haringtons, insists that practicalities should come first.
“Buying a house together later in life is not quite the same romantic adventure as doing it at 28,” she says. “By this point you both know exactly how you like to live, so I would be much more interested in whether the house can accommodate two established lives than whether it has the perfect kitchen.”
Harrison insists that couples should think about family before they buy or move in together.
“Adult children can have surprisingly strong opinions when a beloved widowed parent falls in love and moves in with somebody new,” she says. “Take legal advice, be very clear about how the property is owned and what happens to it eventually. It isn’t terribly romantic, but neither is a family row over the house.”
Separate bathrooms are high on Harrison’s must-haves, along with plenty of personal space.
“A study, a workroom, a shed, perhaps a second sitting room. If you’ve both lived independently for years, suddenly expecting to share every room is asking for trouble. I’d look for a house where you can spend an afternoon doing completely different things without actually having to leave it,” she says.
Sharing a confined space
Surviving in a confined space together was the acid test for Andy Johnson, 67, and Tracy Stone, 61, who first met in 2005 when they both worked for British Airways as long-haul cabin crew, clocking up 76 years’ service between them.
Their paths crossed again in 2020; Johnson’s wife had died in 2019, and Stone was divorced in 2007. A chat with a mutual friend from work led them to meet up again. “She told me that Tracy was not married any more, and told me to get in touch and give her a call,” said Johnson. “I said, ‘I’m not doing that. I was married for 38 years. I don’t know what it’s like to chase women!’”
However, he did eventually make the call, and they met up for a dog walk. Soon, they decided to take a trip away in Johnson’s motorhome, as caravanning was already a joint passion.
“Before we bought a house together, we bought a motorhome, which was like having a mini-home,” said Johnson. “We knew that if we could share a small space, we could happily share a home together.”
A keen windsurfer, Johnson had moved to Hayling Island, Hampshire, from West Sussex when he’d retired, and Stone lived in Marlborough, Wiltshire. When they decided to sell their properties to buy their own place, he still wanted to be close to the sea, and she wanted to be part of a village community.
The answer was a £835,000 four-bedroom new build at Dandara Wittering Place development in West Wittering, West Sussex, 10 minutes’ walk from the beach.
The couple moved in mortgage-free in October 2025 with their golden retriever, Rudi. They used the equity in their previous homes to fund the purchase.
“Initially we were going to buy a more expensive property – our budget was up to £1m,” said Stone. “However, now we have an extra fund pot to buy nice things together, rather than using all our old furniture from our previous homes.
“When you’re at our stage in life, you’re already fully established with everything. We had to get rid of so much stuff, giving it away to our families, Facebook Marketplace and charity shops,” says Stone.
A priority for the couple was having a fourth bedroom so Johnson’s son and daughter, who both live in Wales, could come and stay. They’ve even decorated a room especially for his grandson, Freddie Johnson, four, with his favourite seaside pictures on the wall.
“We’ve not only bought a house together, but we’ve also bought a lifestyle together,” says Johnson.